Growing Up

If everyone around me looks like me and is, in fact, older than me, then am I too young, or older than I first thought?

The question is, as I approach it here, one of maturity. In the first case, I perceive myself to be lagging behind in at least one respect, some of which I will list later. Here, it is as if I have been swimming under the surface for so long that I have only just realized that the surface, that median which I initially thought to be some amorphous ambivalence 'around here somewhere,' is actually above me. When I seek to reach its level, I come to realize that the progress between fresh air an existence of eternal submersion is not so amorphously ambivalent as it is structurally so. To be sure, the divide, so to speak, is definite; real. However, there is no touching it. In other words, I find myself, either in the air or else beneath the surface, but I may only know the difference, not grasp it.

In the second instance, I misunderstand my place among my peers. I lack an accurate perception of where I stand within my generation. This is an inaccuracy whereby I have situated myself below the median of scholasticism, or occupation, or else some other contributor to existential substance. The boundaries are still there but I realize that, more importantly than the existence of two different realms, and instead of discerning their distinction, I am able to move about between and through both arenas, with acuity; not perfection and complete ease, mind you, but greater keenness than I first thought. Improvement will come with time. With time also come departure from one (or both?) sphere(s), to somewhere not entirely dissimilar.

Titular.

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