I was supposed to write to you about the flight back, and the movies I watched (or during which I fell asleep) on the plan ride over here. I was then going to say something like I have come back to this country to go to school. I have learned so much in the past year, and I have grown in leaps and bounds as a person. I am then supposed to add that, because I am already on my way to more formal education this Fall, I have had some time to reflect on my experiences and where they have now brought me in my life's journey. THEN, I was going to top it all off with the icing and strawberry: I. Am. Fearless.
You were going to be really awestruck at my uncanny ability for self-reflection and my overwhelming success at being the master of my own ship.
That's not what's really going down.
Here is the deal: I plan to be in Colorado in one month, getting a job, going to school, "living it up" the way I have been planning to for the past year. Now, that is all very likely still going to happen (I already paid the security deposit on my apartment, and have yet to intentionally alter my academic and social trajectories). HOWEVER!! (That's a big 'however,' as you can see; it has its own exclamation marks.). I cannot get where I need to be unless I know where I am.
So where am I? Glad I asked. I am still in transition.
Right about now, I am going through some crazy culture shock. I feel soooo useless! From active, one-on-one discipleship on a regular basis, to failing at getting in touch with many of my family members and friends, and that mostly because of distance and 9 to 5 schedules. I have no idea what that is like! My days in Nkwanta were full of unplanned activites. At least, they could be at any given moment. Here, I am at one house that has central A/C (which is cold, by the way...70-something degrees), really grateful that there is a real piano on which to practice. Did you notice how there are few negatives in those last few statements. Therein lies my struggle!
And another thing: I seem to be getting full more quickly. I am glad I can eat some barbeque and cajun and seafood dishes, but I just have less of an appetite. Correction - my stomach seems smaller. This troubles me, because I really like food! So, mainly because I need to be in shape, but partly because I want an appetite, I have started running a little during the week. Hopefully this remedies that situation within a short time.
Then I am having second thoughts about completing my program in two years. I wanna go to school but, unlike undergrad, I want this next step to consume only a part of my day, not its entirety. I suspect that will prove difficult with a full courseload.
Lastly, my imperfections have followed me back here!! I was hoping they would get lost between the rural African land and the airport, but alas. This minister of the Gospel still struggles idolatry and immorality as much as i did before. Sadly, immorality is easier here for me. Idolatry is the same, with a few gods masked behind different names.
Life is good, but living the abundant life of God is better. Life is hard, and living the abundant life of God is grueling. Catch my drift? Ha. Drift.
You were going to be really awestruck at my uncanny ability for self-reflection and my overwhelming success at being the master of my own ship.
That's not what's really going down.
Here is the deal: I plan to be in Colorado in one month, getting a job, going to school, "living it up" the way I have been planning to for the past year. Now, that is all very likely still going to happen (I already paid the security deposit on my apartment, and have yet to intentionally alter my academic and social trajectories). HOWEVER!! (That's a big 'however,' as you can see; it has its own exclamation marks.). I cannot get where I need to be unless I know where I am.
So where am I? Glad I asked. I am still in transition.
Right about now, I am going through some crazy culture shock. I feel soooo useless! From active, one-on-one discipleship on a regular basis, to failing at getting in touch with many of my family members and friends, and that mostly because of distance and 9 to 5 schedules. I have no idea what that is like! My days in Nkwanta were full of unplanned activites. At least, they could be at any given moment. Here, I am at one house that has central A/C (which is cold, by the way...70-something degrees), really grateful that there is a real piano on which to practice. Did you notice how there are few negatives in those last few statements. Therein lies my struggle!
And another thing: I seem to be getting full more quickly. I am glad I can eat some barbeque and cajun and seafood dishes, but I just have less of an appetite. Correction - my stomach seems smaller. This troubles me, because I really like food! So, mainly because I need to be in shape, but partly because I want an appetite, I have started running a little during the week. Hopefully this remedies that situation within a short time.
Then I am having second thoughts about completing my program in two years. I wanna go to school but, unlike undergrad, I want this next step to consume only a part of my day, not its entirety. I suspect that will prove difficult with a full courseload.
Lastly, my imperfections have followed me back here!! I was hoping they would get lost between the rural African land and the airport, but alas. This minister of the Gospel still struggles idolatry and immorality as much as i did before. Sadly, immorality is easier here for me. Idolatry is the same, with a few gods masked behind different names.
Life is good, but living the abundant life of God is better. Life is hard, and living the abundant life of God is grueling. Catch my drift? Ha. Drift.
posted from Bloggeroid
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